Wet September.

Posted by elizabeth erickson on Thursday, September 1, 2011 in practical justice | 0 comments

Houston, we have a problem.
No, literally… Houston has a problem. But Houston isn’t the only place having some issues. The entire state of Texas joins four other states in the southwestern region enduring one of the harshest droughts on record. And since Texas produces more beef than the country of India would know what to do with, there could be some major repercussions if we don’t get some rain soon.

I posted a bit ago about the concept of THINK GLOBAL, ACT LOCAL. In sum, it’s the reality of having a heart for people and causes that are global in scale, but making concerted, marked efforts at local levels to see sustainable change.

Here is Texas, when drought strikes we reduce the amount of water we put in our swimming pools, switch from watering our lawns from every day to every two days and make ice cubes out of fruit punch instead of water. But we can still walk down the aisles of our grocery stores and purchase Fiji water for $2 a bottle (not passing judgment here if you’re a Fiji water fan… I happen to love it… I’m simply making an observation). Drought doesn’t affect most of us directly. Farmers and small communities across the southwest likely feel the pressure and impact of drought much more than we in the metropolises do, but we still have enough (really more than enough) clean water to make our lives work.

Please don’t think that I am ignorant of the state of our drought. I understand the severity. However, we Americans never stop to think about water until drought in OUR town sets in.
We swim in it. We bathe in it. We give our dogs water to drink (and my lab, Tryone sure can put water down). We drink it in large quantities in our bottles, coffee, tea, sodas.
But we’re not dying from lack of rain.
Africans are.
And whilst we are complaining about not watering our lawns often enough and we’re guzzling an overpriced substance that has simply been packaged beautifully, there are very real and very dire needs around the world. The reality is, other than some hefty prayer and some scientists sending a plane into a rain cloud to drop some iodine in and hope it stimulates some raindrops, we can’t do much to bring rain to Texas or any other place. Which brings me to where we can make a difference at a local level: the Charity:Water September campaign.

The 2011 September Campaign. Our 5-year-anniversary video from charity: water on Vimeo.

I love this organization. I love their integrity–that they are transparent about where YOUR money goes, that they back up their transparency with photographs and GPS coordinates, that the money that you raise is NOT going to staff salaries and overhead costs. I love that they encourage people to find unique and creative ways to give–ways that aren’t selling stuff, but that make people have to personally get involved.
There are numerous, wonderful organizations out there who are doing amazing things to solve the water crisis (SafeWorldNexus, WaterAid and Water Missions just to name a few). Charity:Water is simply one of them.

Yes, we should continue to pray for rain for ourselves. But whilst we’re doing that, join me and make it a wet September for somebody… somewhere.

All my love.. for everyone.

Get REAL and Get On With It.

Posted by elizabeth erickson on Thursday, August 18, 2011 in musings on life, love & everything in between | 14 comments

I don’t do fake.
Sure I live in Texas where it’s big hair, big business and big talk (we Mavs fans are still talking smack to the Heat.. It’s just smack that we can back up… on and off the court).

But if you’re my friend, you’re likely gonna get the real Liz… Raw and uncensored. I’ll tell it [the truth] to you straight… with as much love and compassion as I can wrap it with, but it’ll be straight, no-nonsense truth.

I spent a few hours on the phone recently resolving some conflict with a friend I love. I was hurt about how they had handled a particular situation. On the one hand, I was OK taking some time to process through how they handled it and how I felt about it. My love for this person never changed and in my mind, I knew that after they and I had a chance to discuss the situation that we’d be just fine. That’s what adults do: they talk through conflict, resolve their differences and forgive. Right?!

But my relative silence for a week or so I meant not as passive aggression toward my friend, but rather I was trying to figure out how I felt. Unfortunately, my friend was on the other end of the relationship in a panic that I was going to abandon the friendship without ever giving conflict resolution a college try.

I wasn’t angry… I was hurt. Not something that happens often (it takes a heck of a lot to offend me). But sometimes we adulterate emotions. I’ve discovered that often when we humans are in pain (physically or emotionally) we express that pain through anger. I’ve learned that’s not OK. If I’m in pain, I need to recognize it as pain and express it as pain… We shouldn’t lash out in anger or frustration toward others when pain is what we feel.
But I digress…

The point of my post is this…

If we are loving the way we are supposed to (which we ALL, myself included, fall short far too often), then love requires that we GET REAL and GET ON WITH IT.

My friend and I are totally cool and all was resolved and thank God for that. But I realized in the course of the conversation that we were seeing the same situation from fundamentally different perspectives. Whilst one of us was afraid that the other person was going to bail because the road got a little rocky, the other one was viewing the relationship from the standpoint of “we’re in this friendship for life… this is a blip on the radar.”

It’s not that one of us was right and other was wrong. We each viewed the situation based on our past experiences and how we were raised.

I hadn’t ever realized until a close friend pointed out a few months back that my family has a funny dynamic. We can be in a full-on, throw down argument where there are some voices raised in exasperation as opinions fly… We may not have even finished the “conversation” for one reason or another, but we don’t really let conflict fester. Usually a few minutes will go by and maybe one of the parties will leave the house (not out of anger but because they have somewhere to be) and both parties will call out to the other in kind tones something along the lines of “Love you! See you later!” or “Have a good time! Love ya!” …as if the argument had never happened. Forgiveness is a given. Sure, we almost always apologize and ask forgiveness. Of course we resolve arguments whenever possible. We were raised to “never let the sun go down upon our wrath” (i.e. don’t walk around with unresolved conflict for more than a day).

But even if the other party never asks forgiveness… You offer them forgiveness in your heart. Even if you haven’t been able to resolve the conflict… You love them in spite of it. You act like an adult, get real and get on with it.

It doesn’t mean it’s easy. It doesn’t mean it’s fun. But you don’t stop loving your brother because of an argument. You don’t write off a friendship because of offense. You don’t ditch your marriage because you and your partner don’t see eye to eye.

You stick it out… Because the reality is, if we’re not in relationships for the long haul, then we’re not loving like Jesus.

He hasn’t given up on us in the midst of our mistakes, shortcomings and failures… So who are we so quick to walk away from others?

I am far from perfect. I screw up in life and friendships and relationships ALL the time. I have hurt friends and loved ones. But there is always forgiveness when you get real and are willing to work it out.

I’ve learned a thing or two on this journey that I hope helps you in your relationships:

1. Be someone worth knowing.
Are you an asset to the people you’re around? If you’re not bringing things to the table (reciprocating communication, wisdom, love, a vested interest in their life and well-being), then honestly why on earth would anyone want to be in relationship with you? You have to start with your relationship with God… If you don’t have that down, good luck with the rest of the world!

2. Communicate often… and well
Communication is a HUGE part of relationships. Usually, who you communicate the most frequently with are the people that you are in the deepest relationships with. But you also need to know how to communicate well. Verbal abuse is real and it’s not cool.

Work on communicating your thoughts, feelings, opinions healthily and honestly without profanity, derogatory statements, innuendos or exaggerations. Be real and straightforward when you’re addressing issues or sensitive topics. Pray that the person you’re communicating with hears your heart and not just the words you’re saying. Watch that your vocal tone and body language aren’t coming across contrary to what you intend. Use phrases such as “I feel ___” and “I’m not sure if you meant to, but it was hurtful to me when _____” instead of “You were wrong when you _____” and “I can’t believe you _____,” when you’re talking through conflict and/or past incidents. By expressing how you feel (often for men, they’ll express what they “think” instead if how they “feel”), you’re disarming the other party and keeping them from going into a defensive mode like they would if you simply pointed out what they did (or didn’t do). And don’t forget to own up to your mistakes. Take responsibility for your failures and seek forgiveness. We all screw up. It takes two to tango and I may be just as guilty as the other person. Admitting where I’ve gone wrong is the best way to keep me humble and initiate resolution in the midst of conflict.

3. Pray
I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve gone into with sweaty palms, feeling like I’m gonna throw-up because I’m so nervous the conversation might go south. Last night was no different. But prayer has been my best ally. Before walking into a conversation I think might be difficult, I pray something along these lines: “God, I thank you for so-and-so. Thank you for who they are in my life and that you have connected me to them for a specific purpose and plan. Bless them for who they are to me and because you love them. Please guide our conversation. Let only the words you want said to be said. I bind the enemy from causing any confusion or corrupted communication. Thank you God that so-and-so’s and my eyes and ears will be opened to see and hear clearly the other’s hearts and not just their words. Let the peace of God rule and reign in our relationship and our communication. Shift both of our hearts to be in alignment with your heart. Bless this conversation…” etc. I tell you what… It has worked every time. It is rare that a conversation ever escalates to an actual argument,  almost always there is resolution to the issue and forgiveness is always extended on both sides.

4. Forgive and give grace room
At the end of the day, is the conflict you and the other person are dealing with worth losing your relationship over? Probably not.
Forgive them. If you don’t, the Bible is really clear that God can’t forgive you. He wants to, but he can’t… Your unforgiveness forms a barrier wall that separates you from the grace and forgiveness of the Father. Probably not something you want. Forgiveness isn’t easy. But it’s also not a feeling… It’s a choice. You decide to forgive (and keep forgiving and keep forgiving…) and eventually the feelings will follow.

And you give grace room. Receive the grace of God for yourself (He extends it freely… none of us are out of the reaches of His grace, regardless of our failings). After you receive his grace, extend it to others. Give them room to grow in the grace of God. It’s amazing that when we love people, pray for them and give them grace to grow they will flourish. But it takes time.

I was ready to write off a friend last year. I have only ever done that to one friend before (and even that relationship has come full circle and we’re now besties). It’s totally out of character for me… I am naturally fiercely loyal to people I love. But this friend was driving me nuts. Thankfully, I didn’t write her off. I gave her grace to grow and God has done an amazing work in her (and me) over the last year and today she is one of my great friends.

We are often much softer on ourselves than we are on others. We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions. But what if we reversed that trend? What if we gave others grace and judged them by their intentions and judged ourselves by our actions (or inactions)… We’d likely be people much more grace-filled.

Forgive, just as you’ve been forgiven. But then give people grace to grow into the people that God intended them to be.

In your relationships: get real and get on with it.
Life is too short to go at it alone.

The Remedy for Compassion Fatigue

Posted by elizabeth erickson on Monday, August 1, 2011 in practical justice | 0 comments

Natural Disasters. Poverty. Slavery. Water Crisis. Genocide. Political Corruption. Human Trafficking. Defunct Educational System. Gendercide. Global Financial Meltdown. Hunger. Racial Inequality. Homelessness. Abortion. Lack of Health Care. Child Soldiers. Environmental Issues. Refugees. Abuse.

It’s all so… OVERWHELMING.

The incredible thing about the 21st century media is that the world (namely the western world) has a good theoretical grasp on the issues we face.

We cannot say that we did not know.

The disastrous thing is that we suffer perpetually from compassion fatigue.

Compassion fatigue is a term used by journalists to describe the media audience subconsciously tuning out issues after they’ve been inundated by information for days and weeks on end. It happens all the time: Hurricane Katrina, Haiti, the War in the Middle East, the Debt Crisis, Japan, Casey Anthony. We hear every detail of the crisis for weeks on end… then we hear nothing.

There are practical reasons why that happens: lack of resources by media organizations to continue long-term coverage, there may not be new “news” to report, Anderson Cooper got tired of being the hero, etc. But the “practical” reasons why the news media stops covering important issues should not be excuses for why change fails to come.

Again, we cannot say that we did not know.

Even when the journalists have pulled out and the documentaries have finished filming, there are people… PEOPLE… who are still in need.

And we cannot say that we did not know.

But we’re tired. I’m tired.

Reading articles and trying to comprehend the vastness of monstrous issues that weigh on my heart such as orphans and trafficked children is tiring.

I dream about them at night. I think about them during the day. I contemplate remedies and schemes to rescue and rehabilitate them. And the next few years of my life will likely be dedicated largely to developing those remedies and schemes. But often the needs seem far too great for this North Dallas suburbanite girl to do anything substantial.

I have compassion fatigue, and I reckon that you do too.

But all hope is not lost: there IS a remedy to compassion fatigue. It is this:

THINK GLOBAL, ACT LOCAL.

Not necessarily a profound thought. However if each of us, individually and collectively, as media consumers and partners in this global humanity would infuse that thought into our lives, I believe that substantial change can and will come to our world.

We hear about global issues and often our first response as westerners is to reach for our pocketbooks and write a check or send a text message to our choice aid organization. That is great and good and needed. If you do nothing else, GIVE. Endowing financial resources to credible aid organizations frees up teams to be able to do work on the ground when others of us can’t reach the “ground zero” of need.

But the best remedy for compassion fatigue isn’t giving money, it’s we… ourselves… individually and corporately getting our hands dirty in the clean-up of the moral and social issues in OUR cities, OUR states, OUR nations and ultimately OUR world.

We must be aware and keen to address the needs around our globe, yet not neglect the needs in our own backyard.

It would be utterly absurd for my parents who have been “full-time ministers” for most of my life to spend the bulk of their time counseling and fixing other people’s homes, children and lives whilst they unintentionally neglect their own home, children and lives. Thus they would be thinking globally whilst neglecting their local. Sadly, there are far too many Pastors… Nay, far too many parents who do this on a regular basis. They are out “saving the world” whilst completely neglecting the physical, emotional, spiritual needs of their children and their home.

Yet, that is how most of us live in our communities. We often feebly attempt to address global issues whilst ignoring the feasible, local needs around us.

It’s not either/or. It’s both/and.

If we would invest ourselves in the meeting the needs around us… LOCALLY… in our homes, communities and surroundings, we will find that we will be more energized, equipped and readied to tackle the needs GLOBALLY that at present feel so overwhelming.

I told you I’m passionate about orphans and children who have become victims of trafficking… Like really passionate. I’m also overwhelmed. I know that there are needs at a global scale that I (among others) am called to remedy.
At present, I have done ridiculous amounts of research on the trafficking issue. I can tell you all about how victims are enslaved, what kind of treatment they receive, how slavery differs in various regions of the world, etcetera. However, what I can’t tell you (yet) is how to rehabilitate a girl that has come out of trafficking. I can’t tell you (yet) how to prevent at-risk girls from becoming victims themselves. I can’t tell you (yet) what kind of tort reform needs to happen at an international level to regulate prosecution for perpetrators and bring justice for victims. I can’t tell you (yet) what relief for this massive issue looks like.

But I can tell you what my (personal) first step toward finding solutions is: THINK GLOBAL, ACT LOCAL.

My heart aches just as much for the girl caged (yes, literally caged) in a brothel in India as it does for the girl who has run away from her home in South Dallas and is now turning tricks on Harry Hines Blvd. But I don’t live in India. I can’t directly meet that need. But I CAN do something about the girls in Dallas… and eventually the girls in New York City… and hopefully one day, girls beyond the borders of where I live.

But meeting the needs around us is not just about money or resources or how great our organizations and plans and schemes are.

It’s about PEOPLE. It’s about meeting their needs body, soul and spirit.
Money, resources, organizations, plans and schemes are simply tools for bringing sustainable solutions to monstrous issues.
Ultimately, none of us can accomplish change on our own.
We’re partners in this thing. Partners with God firstly and then partners with each other. We’re all in this together.

This post is not just me theorizing. It’s me reminding myself and each of you that we CAN make a difference. It’s a call to realize that compassion fatigue is not an acceptable excuse for impotence on our part in bringing lasting change to the world around us.

For each of these issues: Natural Disasters. Poverty. Slavery. Water Crisis. Genocide. Political Corruption. Human Trafficking. Defunct Educational System. Gendercide. Global Financial Meltdown. Hunger. Racial Inequality. Homelessness. Abortion. Lack of Health Care. Child Soldiers. Environmental Issues. Refugees. Abuse…

We must THINK GLOBAL and ACT LOCAL.

In the coming weeks and months, I plan to blog some practical ways that you and I can make a marked difference at a local level in various social issues. In the meantime, I urge you to check out http://i-heart.org, which presents ongoing ways to get involved in being the change.

all my love… for everyone,
Liz